Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Deceived....... By Chance
BISMILLAH HIR RAHMAN NIR RAHEEM
Everybody always wanted me to grow up. Not only age wise but mentally too. (as you all know i have so many experi-mental things with me... hihihihi). My Rab has given such a wonderful life that I just couldn't see beyond that. I didn't knew what life exactly is?, what was its purpose of existence? and so many questions. In first place I never had such kind of questions in my head ever. Although I was very inquisitive but also full of answers - childlike answers. Things were very fun. but suddenly I dunno how I grew up. I don't mind my age but my mental system grew up, which I never thought it would.
I have started behaving like a grown up adult person, which I find very very boring. This year gave me both good and bad moments. Though things were volatile this whole year, in the end it gave a lot of good relief. I hope it continues, it will InshaAllah. During my birthday, life returned me back my friend, and today................ oohh thats a story, I think I should speak up and remove it from my heart, or else it'll keep me troubling next year too.
Staying away from my dad all my life has made me miss that fatherly figure in my life always. My dad loves me a lot but work keeps him busy. So for that reason any person of my father's age keeps his hands over my head to bless me, I really feel touched and trust that person to no end point. I realised my mistake. Not all old man are good anymore in today's world, that's what I learned this year. A wrong business decision at the start of this year led to a whole lot of tension one after another and kept me busy with just that. My business decisions never go wrong Alhamdulillah. Whatever I do be it in my personal or professional life , I always do Istikhara (thats a prayer to seek Allah's guidance before starting any work)first and then only take further step. I dont know what went wrong and before taking such a big decision I didn't do Istikhara, just trusted that old man who we considered as a family friend. And me, I gave him my love and respect like I would give to my father.
But that old man proved that money is the only true relation, which neither speaks false and deceive others. However, that mistake kept me on my toes whole year. I just didn't knew what to do and didn't wanted to depend on that old man alone to come out of that problem. Not only him, I never like to depend on anyone apart from my Rab. But there was just no way out I could think of. Ultimately prayers come for our help. My Rab showed me the proper way to come out of it. Now everyone will ask, how come God show the way. Yes thats the inner voice within all of us which speaks on our Rab's behalf. We just have to sincerely listen to it.
Now I got the way to come out of the probs, but didn't had the courage coz I didn't wanted to take that step and spoil our relationship. I have always given importance to relationships over my any and every business. I had to wait more six months but ultimately things started folding out in its own proper course at a very right time. And now when I know I am not wrong in any way I can stand up infront of that old man and show him the mirror. Yes he needs to see himself in that.
Today I did what I never had courage for. For many people it might be a very simple common thing. But for me it is my fight for my rights. I sent a notice through my lawyer to that person who too was involved. My lawyer asked me send notice to that old man and his other partner in crime too, but I couldn't agree though I wanted to. However, I know Rab will surely do justice and make him realise his mistakes. I dont wanna hurt him, but he will have to realise what he did to me and many other people like me. Hurting a daughter of sayed family yields nothing good to anybody. I know today I am sounding very bad but I need to spill out this venom within me.
For him, I being a girl can't do anything and as a matter of fact should not do anything. Girls are meant to be showpieces kept at home for decorative purpose. He never allowed me to do or say much, and I respected his words. Although my parents never stopped me for taking any decisions, but with him... he took all the decisions himself without approving it from us. He being an elderly person I simply kept quiet. But I can never take down anything wrong for a longer time and what he had done this time was unforgivable. And when I answered back, I became the arrogant girl. I dont care. This is how girls are always known to be who speak upright, isnt it?
Well Well, just leave it. I am feeling very fine and relaxed. and I hope Rab helps me like this all the time. I just believe in one thing when we are not wrong, we shouldn't be scared of anything. and I am also not scared of anything. I can only say he deceived me because I gave him a chance to do so. InshaAllah never next time. Life always teaches a lesson and I believe never to repeat our mistakes.
Ok it was all these things only that kept me busy this year, with very less peace of mind. However all is well that ends well. I am so much caught up that I really really need a break now. Just wanna be myself. Thought of going on a holiday, but i'll have to drag myself for that, besides my friends will have to apply for the leave. All my energies have gone down the drain. I wanna refresh everything in my life.
I wanted to visit the northern parts of India specially during this winter time. I wanna go there in this cold and have an icecream, no infact two.. two icecreams. I think it should be three or four or five or many more..... but dear as my luck has to be, my parents want me to be with them for a few days, just for a change. God!! whenever I've planned to go north something or the other has happend and cancelled my plans.
Anyways now, someother time. I hope I get time and stress free time I mean to blog. I really missed my blog. Several things happened which I wanted to write it down here. There were several pics too which I wanted to post here, but I lost all of them. I wish I had saved them in my drafts. They simply got deleted while my bro formatted the PC and I didnt saved them in my external harddisk (too lazy to do that). Those pics were some really beautiful moments, I wish I recover them anyhow.......... I know dts not possible now. I didn't had its backup either.
Ok Ok be positive for everthing. "Acha Socho To Hamesha Acha Hi Hota Hai" ( think good and only good will happen to you. I really thank my lord for all the good things happening in my life.